Tag: exoffenders

Hey Readers! So, while I continue to put out more posts and constantly research, I’ve begun finding and meeting some awesome people.

And, guess what… They’re felons too, and have been able to find a pathway to overcome their personal struggles. And lots of us want to reach out to each other and help our brothers and sisters in the background struggle.

Here is my first interview with such an individual, let me introduce Lisa Forbes and her story:

1. What was your first conviction, and what was the most influential factor in your life at that time?

I love this quote by Joyce Meyer:  “If you want to get over a problem, stop talking about it.  Your mind affects your mouth, and your mouth affects your mind.  It’s difficult to stop talking about a situation until you stop thinking about it.”

What is a matter of public record is a matter of public record.  But I don’t have to keep giving life to it by talking about it.  The world was created by words, and is maintained by words.

After 18 years, I have so re-defined myself that I have no interest in discussing the past.  I am, however, writing a memoir, and for two reasons.  The first is to put the past in perspective.  Secondly, I would love for all the details that it will include to give readers who have endured similar events the certainly that they are not alone, that other people can relate, and that they, too, can choose to not be permanently impacted by the past.

The most influential factor in my life at that time was having been traumatized sexually, religiously, and emotionally throughout my childhood and into adulthood.

 

2. What was the catalyzing moment in your life that brought you to make positive changes and begin your current path?

When I realized that in my terrible marriage, I had recreated my childhood – right down to marrying a man who was the same age as my father.   Trauma had me stuck in a behavioral loop.  I repeatedly entered relationships with people who treated me as I had always been treated at home.  I had to accept the fact that some part of me needed to feel worthy of a better life.  I had to choose to believe that God loves me.  I had to stop punishing myself.  I had to stop feeling guilty because I had been declared guilty.  I had to forgive myself and move on.  Acceptance of that led me to understanding the impact of trauma, and the extent to which being in a traumatized state was preventing me from changing.  I want to emphasize that these realizations came about as a result of a lot of reading and studying and praying for help.  I was able to research these things and then reach out for help.  I realize that a lot of people aren’t in that position.  And that is the gap where I would like to stand – to do that for those people who aren’t able to do close that gap without a little help.

 

3. What has or will define your success as a restored recruiter?

Restored recruiter is a term that no longer applies to me, and I need to update my social media accounts.  At one time I had a vision of working with restored citizens to help them enter the job market on the level at which they were actually qualified, rather than assuming that all they could get were low-paying, entry-level jobs.  Many restored citizens have taken every class and gotten every degree they could get while they were inside.  They are more educated than some people who have never been on the inside, and they are quite capable of doing something besides being grateful for a minimum-wage job.  Many restored citizens have street skills that are easily transferrable to the business world.  I envisioned focusing on highly skilled but under-employed restored citizens and connecting them to the workforce.  However, I realized that trauma often underlies the reasons why people can get jobs but not keep them, or get housing but not keep it.  Therefore, my focus has shifted to trauma resolution.  It is well known now that trauma can affect one’s beliefs about the future, leading to loss of hope, limited expectations about life, fear that life will end abruptly or early, or anticipation that normal life events won’t occur (e.g., access to education, ability to have a significant and committed relationship, good opportunities for work).  We see this in many large sectors of the population, but we don’t connect it to trauma.  So we do things like have job fairs and government programs.  Then we wonder why we keep seeing the same people in the same situations over and over again, many of them for years.  Without resolving the underlying trauma, ultimately their lives will not change.  Working with restored citizens to resolve their trauma is now my primary focus.

 

4. Any hints or tips for the Readers?

 

It’s not popular, but my advice is to recognize that no permanent change comes by way of other people.  Permanent change starts on the inside and then becomes manifest outside.  If trauma is not acknowledged and resolved, the person is not healed and whole even if they happen to have a job and a place to live.

 

5. Any additional information you’d like to share with us today?

My goal is to help people become whole.  I can share the specific techniques that I use to do that with anyone who is personally interested.  If anyone is interested, they should contact you and request further information regarding my specific work in this area.

 

And so concludes our first interview. Huge thanks to Lisa for sharing her story and offering a helping hand to those who desire it.

Please feel free to contact me at azarathias alternatives at zoho dot com (gotta make it harder on spammers, it’s working so far!) to learn more about how to contact Lisa for her services.

I hope you enjoyed it, and found some hope in your own future success!

Peace and Love

-Aza