First Steps

Hey Readers! I recently attended a fantastic event where I met some people of a similar mindset.

If you’re new to the blog, maybe we even met there! If so, I’m really thankful to have you onboard. You’re on the right path to getting where you want to go in life and I encourage you to keep finding support in the right places.

Anyway, it’s been a while since I offered some fresh content here. You can thank the new clients I have for stealing me from the work I really love – but also the bill collectors as they continue to demand payment for all the crap I need to get by.  Additionally, I’ve been tending to some needed self-care after what has been an absolute mess of a year for me. (I’ll make another post soon expanding on that) But, I wanted to talk about something that was brought to my attention at the event by another supportive vendor who overheard my story.

One of the things that I had forgotten about struggling with directly after my release from my sentence, was finding what I wanted to do with myself. As I talked with this fellow, we touched on how important it was to find something in life that you want to do.

What Are You Going To Do?

When you’re asked, “What do you want to do?”, you might feel compelled to say, ‘care for my family, support my kids, or stay out of trouble’.

But does that tell you -or anyone for that matter- what your actual plans are? Does it motivate you to push for growth in life?

No, it doesn’t.

It’s an avoidant type of answer because the truth of it is – it’s difficult to pin down a plan especially when you might not have a foundation for anything positive under your feet at all. When you don’t know where you’re going to sleep, where you’re going to eat, or how you’ll stay warm over the winter, it’s even harder to imagine the ability to plan.

I remember those days when I was sleeping in my car and hoping my phone would ring with news of a job or even just a friend that had room on their couch for the night.

Making a real plan was something that eluded me for a long time because I was more focused on surviving day to day than I was on creating something I could rely on. I forgot about the importance of finding a meaningful direction in my life. So I floated about for a while, drifting from job to job and wondering why nothing ever felt like it was getting better.

There were a few days where I had fantasized about college and professional level jobs, and eventually, the idea began to grow in my mind to the point where I began to dig into the research that allowed me to grow to the point where I am now.

One thing that helped push me to that tipping point, was when I thought back to the things that intrigued me before my crime had overtaken my entire life. For me, that was art, psychology, and writing. Those things inspired me, made me feel happy, and have become the mainstays of my daily life now.

So, I encourage you to remember or to find the things that might drive you to find growth and beauty in your life. Those things that drive you to talk for hours on end and create ideas that might help the whole of humanity. Those things that push you to be better. Always look to learn new things that might spark that inner fire again.

First Steps Forward

Once you’ve found a spark – explore it – run with it – even if you find a dead end, you’ll still be better for the experiences and everything you will have learned by that point. So, take those first steps – and try not to look back too often – that’s not where you’re going.

And as always, keep moving forward.

Love and Peace,
~Aza @aza_enigma



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