A few months ago, I was going through all of my gathered belongings. I’ll do this about once a year or so, or whenever I end up moving. It’s always proven interesting to look back at the things I’ve done, thought about, written down, and everything else. I like to compare those pieces of the past with where I am now (of course, now being relative to whatever time I’m going through those bits and pieces).
I’ve collected just about every notebook, journal, notepad, and planner from my life and as I was flipping through the pages of my past selves – I stumbled on this section of a notebook that I had titled Poetry. Now, looking over it, it doesn’t always seem like poetry, but it feels poetic in my mind – probably only because I relate so much to my own past (of course).
It reminded me of just how torn up my mental status was, and it feels like I painted a far more bleak picture of my youth than I can even conjure from my own memories. Of course, I do try to not think about how low some of those times were, but I suppose it’s good to occasionally remember just how vivid things feel when you’re in those times. It’s the absolute worst time ever as you’re experiencing it at that time, but as time passes, it somehow isn’t able to hit you quite as hard (or maybe that’s my thickened skin talking – who knows – it’s all subjective anyway).
I thought about it a while, toyed with the idea, and finally decided to share this poetry as a glimpse into how deep I’ve dove down the rabbit-hole of depression. And to remind myself of how far I’ve come from that time in my life.
I’ve overcome so many things, and I love looking back and being able to say – that isn’t my mindset now. I’ve grown, learned, experienced, and lived to the fullest of my capabilities each and every day. I hope this collection reminds you that you’ve come as far as you have too, and that it inspires you to keep moving forward – each and every day.
With no further babbling- I present : Torn to Zero – A Collection of Poetry by Aza Enigma